Since I first made the decision to become abstinent I have had doubts of whether the trade-off was truly worth it. I don't mean the pleasure of sex, I don't care so much about that. Well actually it's more about my virginity than sex in general. What I didn't like is that by giving up sex without trying it, I also gave up sound logic and any chance of understanding one of our species' driving forces. I don't know the first thing about sex, yet I rejected it. For a good reason, but nonetheless. It was made even more complicated by the necessity of separating lust from my logic. It basically came down to a value judgment between trust and empathy. Which is hard.
I was having another one of these doubt sessions earlier, and complained about it to Lisa. Her response was to tell me what sex meant to her, and it made me realize that I have been far too clinical with this whole thing; that sex is a method of expression of care first and foremost, not just a pleasurable mating process. I've decided to let my feelings decide my actions now: if having sex feels right and won't hurt anyone I will try it. If not, I won't. Considering my nature it probably means I won't ever still, but you never know.
I thought I made it clear that sex was an emotional experience. XD I guess not. Hahaha. No, it's cool. I'm glad you feel this way, now. It's both logical and open-minded. Good stuff. *thumbs-up*
ReplyDelete